A October Round Up // Laughter, Tears and Friends.

I'm an extrovert by nature, but my anxiety causes me to be an introvert. Anxiety is something I have been living with for many years, but it never really gets any easier. My anxiety causes many a controlling tendency and fills me with a lot of self-doubts. Self-doubt is something I very struggle to deal with. I spend a lot of my time focused upon my University degree and going to work I don't leave a lot of time for my friends or any free time for myself in general. During October, I decided to try and change that nagging voice within my head and create some sort of balance. I call this my 'Zen'  Mindset.

This month I've tackled with building a built-in wardrobe with my boyfriend, unblocking our drain twice, a lot of crying, a hyperventilating panic attack, planing a Halloween party and celebrating my 21st Birthday. Things have gone wrong for sure, I've not managed to control my excessive mood swings or the anxiety funky feeling I get when I'm on my own but I've accomplished a hell of a lot. I've managed to throw a Halloween party, work towards my university deadlines and slowly start feeling more not only body confident but confident in the person I am growing up to become.

I'm not saying i'm totally happy with where I am. There is a lot more I need to do, and there is a lot more I need to work out with inside of myself but I'm certainly going in the right direction. I'm so happy to be surrounded around the people I' have and I'm lucky to call them my friends. I especially am grateful for the man I lucky to call my boyfriend who sticks with me through many tears and crying and also all the happy memories I'm lucky to share with him. 

The future looks bright my friends.

Thank you for reading this little spontaneous blogpost! 

Toodlepip lovelies! 

Lucy x