A October Round Up // Laughter, Tears and Friends.

I'm an extrovert by nature, but my anxiety causes me to be an introvert. Anxiety is something I have been living with for many years, but it never really gets any easier. My anxiety causes many a controlling tendency and fills me with a lot of self-doubts. Self-doubt is something I very struggle to deal with. I spend a lot of my time focused upon my University degree and going to work I don't leave a lot of time for my friends or any free time for myself in general. During October, I decided to try and change that nagging voice within my head and create some sort of balance. I call this my 'Zen'  Mindset.

This month I've tackled with building a built-in wardrobe with my boyfriend, unblocking our drain twice, a lot of crying, a hyperventilating panic attack, planing a Halloween party and celebrating my 21st Birthday. Things have gone wrong for sure, I've not managed to control my excessive mood swings or the anxiety funky feeling I get when I'm on my own but I've accomplished a hell of a lot. I've managed to throw a Halloween party, work towards my university deadlines and slowly start feeling more not only body confident but confident in the person I am growing up to become.

I'm not saying i'm totally happy with where I am. There is a lot more I need to do, and there is a lot more I need to work out with inside of myself but I'm certainly going in the right direction. I'm so happy to be surrounded around the people I' have and I'm lucky to call them my friends. I especially am grateful for the man I lucky to call my boyfriend who sticks with me through many tears and crying and also all the happy memories I'm lucky to share with him. 

The future looks bright my friends.

Thank you for reading this little spontaneous blogpost! 

Toodlepip lovelies! 

Lucy x 

A Monthly Round Up // August.

I've never really done anything like this before. I've not sat back and reflected the month that just went past and all of the events that were in it. Although, I thought I would change that and reflect. Reflection is always good when you are trying to really make yourself and present the best version of yourself you can. I think these monthly round-ups will be more for me though as opposed to you readers. I want to see it as a way I can look back in years to come.  I would love to start a scrapbook of some relation to this and maybe that can be a goal for me in the New year.

August for me started off with a firework amount of shows, I took my boyfriend to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which is unlike any theatre show he's seen before. I won't lie to you I was very nervous but it was an amazing performance and a show like I have never seen before. We saw it in Southend as well, which is amazing and wonderful that we have this venue where west end performances grace the stage.

The summer days were hot and filled with friends and laughter and little trips to the pub. I feel really blessed to have the people I do around me and really felt happy in myself for the first time in a while. I spent less time at work due to it not being very busy as it's the summer and we don't tend to have a lot of shows on which meant I had a lot of time to spend with myself.

It was then Christopher my boyfriend's birthday week. It was a very hectic week filled with fun, shows and friends. We had a game and cake night the day before his birthday and sang songs until we couldn't guess them anymore. I love that Chris and I share our special group of friends together as when we do spend time together it's better. We then spent his actual birthday in the pouring rain watching Evita at the Open Air Theatre in London. The only show I saw this month that I didn't write a review for My rocky horror show review and Les Mis is up on my blog already! This is simply for the fact of I was very disappointed with the theatre performance. I'm not one to talk negatively when it comes to shows and theatres, and I've never been to a show I have openly disliked apart from Evita. I really hope it was just the performance night we saw it, as with the rain pouring it is hard for your best foot to put across the stage. Especially when they have to stop the performance every 5 minutes to wipe the stage, it can put anybody off. 

On a more positive note, at the end of the week, we met up with my brother and his mother to watch the Les Mis concert. As said earlier my review for this is already up on my blog if you wish to check it out. 

The month ended a lot of admin and personal bits I wanted to tick off my list. Going to the hairdressers and having my hair completely transformed into a gorgeous shade of blonde really helped boost my confidence and make me feel like a new girl. This especially was very much needed for me as throughout the month I suffered a lot with losing a sense of myself and feeling huge amounts of burn out. But I feel I'm on the more positive side of that matter now luckily!

I would love to hear how your August went and what you got up too.

Thank you so much for reading!

Toodlepip lovelies

Lucy x